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Home::Marketing
7 Words You Can't Say in Email
Author : Linda Caroll
If you're old enough, you might remember George Carlin's
"Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say On Television"
The routine was SO dirty that when WBAI Radio played it on the air, the FCC filed an order forbidding the broadcast of such language.
Fast forward 29 years.
Now that we are technologically advanced, the big thing is that we can't use bad words in our emails. Bad words like;
1) click here
2) you receive
3) no obligation
4) money back guarantee
5) free sample
6) check or money order
7) to unsubscribe
You also can't;
... List a toll free number
... Tell anyone to click on a url
... Include a link that sends an email
... Put an exclamation mark in the subject
... TYPE IN ALL CAPS - and more.
Now, when I say "can't" what I mean is that you can, but that a lot of people might not get your email.
You may have noticed that there's a huge war going on, on the Internet, between spammers and anti-spammers. I'm not crazy about spam myself. I really have no need to enlarge a body part that I don't even have, for starters.
I figure I can handle deleting 30 or so emails a day, but I can only imagine how many spam letters go through my ISP's mail server every day if every customer gets their fair share.
ISP's agree. They say that the flow of spam is SO bad these days, they need to start installing filters to get rid of it.
That's where the bad words come in. Spam filters work by looking for email containing bad, spammer, money making words.
One of the popular filter programs today is called SpamAssassin. The way it works is to score points for every bad word in an email. You know, like telling people how to unsubscribe from
your newsletter. If you get 5 points, you're toast.
Once your email become toast, the ISP gets to decide what happens to it. Some ISP's delete it immediately so no one ever has to see it. Others label it as potential spam and send it
out to let the recipient decide if they want to read it.
Now, let's be honest here. SpamAssassin seems to be a lot more powerful than the FCC was back in '73. I mean, Carlin is still playing 12 weeks a year at the MGM in Vegas. But say the bad email words, and YOU could get deleted. Poof. Gone.
Now, not all ISP's are using spam filters yet. I know mine doesn't because some of the emails I get wouldn't even pass the FCC's bad word test, nevermind the anti-spam ones.
But, the point is, if you are a business owner, you have no idea how many of your subscribers aren't getting your email.
The other point is that if you don't get regular emails to enlarge your body parts, what else aren't you getting?
Trust me, using bad words doesn't get you more fame anymore like it did for George. He says bad words and 29 years later he's still rich and famous. You say bad words, and 29 seconds later you could be in a trash bin somewhere.
So, what you need to do is;
a) If you're not getting much spam, ask your ISP if they use spam filters. Also ask if you can control what's deleted instead of having it controlled for you. Unless you're 12. Then your parents should be supervising that.
b) If you own a business mailing list, you might want to tell your customers about mail filters. Heck, you could even share this article with them.
Just don't tell them to click anywhere.
Author's Note:
If you enjoyed this article, you'll love Shocking Truths.
True stories about the gutters and the glories of doing
business online. Sometimes horrifying, often hilarious.
It's at LindaCaroll.com
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